One of the first spiritual scriptures I’ve had contact with was a small version of a Buddhist text in Pali, with German translation, was the Dhammapada. I would carry it around as a teenager,I guess I tried to look spiritual reading it in school and on the street.
Some of the biggest Buddhist texts are the five main Nikāyas, one is called the Khuddaka Nikāya, that includes the Dhammapada, which contains smaller verses and poems like verse 201 which really captures something simple and deep that I did mark in my book back then:
Jayaṃ veraṃ pasavati,
dukkhaṃ seti parājito;
Upasanto sukhaṃ seti,
hitvā jayaparājayaṃ.
Victory breeds hatred;
the defeated live in pain.
Happily the peaceful live,
having abandoned victory and defeat.
Winning (jaya) gives rise to enmity and conflict
Losing (parājaya) brings suffering and distress
One who is upasanta (peaceful, calmed, awakened) lets go of both
True peace comes from transcending the duality of winning and losing.
Winning often brings conflict, losing brings suffering, but the one who is peaceful, calm, and awake lets go of both. True peace comes not from winning, not from losing, but from transcending the whole idea of victory and defeat.
We probably have all heard the saying that comparison is the thief of happiness by now. Laozi in the Tao Te Ching says, “He who stands on tiptoe is not steady; he who strides cannot maintain the pace,” and “A good general does not rejoice in victory.” Epictetus has a similar saying I’ve always enjoyed and remind myself of until today “if we want to improve, we must be willing to be thought foolish or stupid”, freedom from winning in others eyes. Yoga philosophy says the same thing: non-attachment is described as mastery over desire for both seen and unseen results. Thanks to my Dad I used to listen to music like Bob Dylan, Like a Rolling Stone, that captures it in another way “how does it feel to be on your own, with no direction home, like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone?” Back then I couldn’t speak a word English, I didn’t even know what the lyrics meant. All these teachings point in the same direction – letting go of attachment to outcomes, of needing to win or fearing to lose.
Hypothetically this makes sense, but how does it work in real life, in yoga we often try to look into nature for proof. At first glance, life seems all competition – trees reaching for light, plants drawing nutrients from the soil, animals defending territory. In a mature forest however something different happens, nothing is trying to win. Growth slows, balances, and stabilizes. Many species coexist for long periods, each contributing to the whole, and energy flows efficiently, with little waste. There is no victory and no defeat. A tall tree does not conquer a smaller one; each simply occupies its place. Life continues without comparison or rivalry, sustained by interdependence. The forest reflects the peace of one who has let go of both victory and loss.
The common situation in our society, however, is that we never feel enough. We struggle to be content with what is. If we are always ‘under construction,’ we miss the moments of peace where we could simply appreciate and enjoy where we are.
It’s interesting to see how animals handle winning and defeat. If you watch ducks on a lake, you might see them squabble for a moment. But soon the “loser” just flaps and moves on with his day, the “winner” doesn’t seem to take much pride in victory. It all looks like that nothing ever happened. I think of myself years ago, even sometimes today, dwelling on a loss or feeling proud of my win. If only we could carry the mindset of a duck…
Humans, often take competition and comparison further than any other species. We compete in wars, technology, schools, parenting, sports – even yoga classes. This pressure can drive growth, yes, but it can also trap us in suffering. The desire to dominate or be better is rooted in natural instincts, but we often exaggerate it, seeking control far beyond our real needs. The desire to have power, or control over others usually comes from a deeply rooted insecurity, fear, or low self-worth. Many animals exist mostly within the limits of their territory; humans try to dominate far beyond. Veganism can be understood as a conscious refusal to participate in that dynamic of domination and dominated. Rather than “winning” over animals through control or consumption, it seeks coexistence and restraint.
From this perspective, veganism mirrors the mature forest or the balanced animal community. We can change our actions from defeating nature, to finding (or rediscovering) our place within it. By choosing not to take animal life when alternatives exist, one practices non-violence (ahiṃsā) and non-attachment (vairāgya) to appetite and habit, letting go of the idea that human desire must always prevail.
The Dhammapada 216 says: “From craving arises grief; from craving arises fear. For one freed from craving, there is no grief – how then fear?” When we let go of craving, of the need to win, the need to prove ourselves, the desire for sensual satisfaction, we step into a state of freedom – nothing to gain, nothing to lose.
External and internal criticism and praise is very toxic for most people, I used to use a version of the following phrase as an antidote in form of a daily affirmation.
“I am immune to criticism and praise, but I welcome feedback.”
This means being reflective of the past, but not entangled in it.
With some mindfulness we can notice when we feel the pull to compete or compare. We might see ourselves watching someone else’s pose and judging our own. Instead of trying to be better, we can simply observe and return to the breath. Off the mat, how would it feel to let go of the need to always be first, right, or recognized. Celebrating others without measuring ourselves against them. Like the mature forest, like the “peaceful” duck. Over time, this practice creates calm, freedom, and inner peace – not because we have won or lost, but because we have let go of both.
– Dean Galip